What do you think of when you hear the word stepfamily? For many, the first image that appears is a villain from a Disney princess movie… Cinderella anyone? But what does that mean for the actual stepfamilies that attend church, or even more… for those that are afraid to attend church because they don’t feel the message of Christ includes them. I know I once sat in
the seats as a divorced woman, listening to sermons on marriage, and feeling like not only did I not belong, but there was no “family” future for me beyond that of being a single parent. I felt like a failure… like I had lost my chance to belong in the community of Christians, at least as an equal. How about you- is there a part of your personal life story or family story that you wish
you could change? At this point, does the tragedy in your story seem to define you?
Remarriage for my husband and I has been living proof of our Father and his love for us, his willingness to love and forgive and to redeem us in any circumstance. So many of us have had the chance to experience God’s grace, from alcoholics, drug addicts, abusers… people the church welcomes with open arms to accept God’s mercy and forgiveness. Divorce, remarriage… it’s not often discussed, but regardless of how you got there, you need and are worthy of God’s love and forgiveness, like everyone else. It is equally important in a remarriage to hold God at the center… remarriage is hard. And without God, I can’t imagine why you would push through the hard… with God, you have a purpose and reason. And remarriage is the opportunity to show your children God’s plan for marriage, regardless of all that they have experienced or continue to… you can show them God’s plan and redeem your family from the generational cycle of divorce.
So friends, why then does a church need a stepfamily, or blended family, ministry? If you are like us, you haven’t always felt that the studies and resources available, fully apply to our life situations. A Christian marriage study is awesome, so is a parent child study, but so much of the content is based on a first marriage and shared children…. leaving us always feeling a little left out, or with more questions about how that may apply to us, or what God wants for our own unique situations. We have found ourselves on a journey of finding help for just these questions… and for navigating through the traditional family tree, which is our own family forest, filled with complexities that many people don’t understand and have never had to deal
with. And I can tell you… what we have discovered is amazing. God wants to use our stories in the same way he wants to use anyone else’s and with the unique lessons he teaches us on our paths. And more importantly, finding a group of people to share life with, who encounter similar, or the same issues we do, every day.
As Christians, our story is being caught up into God’s story, the story of his redemption of those who call upon His grace. It doesn’t really matter that you can’t change the past. What matters is that God is changing the trajectory of it. For example, the worthless, nonsensical parts of life can find purpose, and our tragedies can become service to others. What if remarriage and this
new family is the present-day portion of God’s redemptive work in your life? When you seek to demonstrate the fruits of the Spirit, you partner with God’s activity to move your family story out of the past and into a redemptive present. And here’s the amazing outcome of the far-reaching power of God’s redemption- when God works all things for the good of those who love him, it doesn’t change the past, but it does change the story we tell about the past.
“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28
You should know right now that God wants to work through your current marriage, parenting, and family relationships to redeem your story of loss, sadness, heartbreak, and brokenness, to offer healing, and to turn your home into a haven of safety that blesses your children. How life is now and how you got here may not have been how you would have written the script, but
given that you’re in the middle of the story already, God wants to author a redemptive narrative to the remaining chapters. When you walk with him in faith, your story, even the worst parts of it, is caught up into what he is doing to redeem all things to him. Your family story is still being written and the best is yet to come. Walk in faith and watch in awe how God authors a new legacy.
“To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair.” Isaiah 61:3