“No parent gives mercy better than one who is convinced that he desperately needs it himself.” — Paul David Tripp
Blended families are beautifully complex. When my husband Jason and I married in 2017, we each brought two children into our new life together. Our dreams of an instant, happy family were quickly met with the real-life challenges of parenting children from different backgrounds—custody battles, emotional wounds, loyalty conflicts, and even jealousy from all sides, not just the kids.
What we learned is that blending a family is far more than just joining two households. It’s stepping into each other’s lives fully, children included, with all the joy and hardship that comes with it. And if there’s one thing this journey has taught me, it’s that we cannot do this alone.
God has shown us how to love beyond bloodlines, to extend grace where emotions run deep, and to allow time and space for healing. We learned that continuing to nurture the original bonds we each had with our own children wasn’t a threat—it was a necessity. And in doing so, we invited God to help us see and love all of our children through His eyes.
“A new command I give you: love one another. As I
John 13:34
have loved you, so you must love one another.”
Blended families are often formed out of loss—divorce, death, or separation—and that pain doesn’t disappear overnight. Children don’t choose these changes, and forcing unity too quickly can do more harm than good. But as we surrendered our weaknesses and opened our hearts to God’s guidance, He revealed something powerful: His strength works best in our weakness.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
2 Corinthians 12:9
This experience has shown me that parenting isn’t about having all the answers—especially in blended families. It’s about leaning on God for wisdom, letting go of pride, and choosing love and grace again and again.
So if you’re walking this road too, know this: you are not alone. The real secret to parenting in a blended family isn’t really a secret at all—it’s God. Only through Him can we parent with grace, grow in love, and offer our children a glimpse of His redemptive plan for family.